before the storm: missions
by Zek88
Summary: a humour fic featuring the bc turks. chapter 5 finally up
1. Chapter 1

**Before the storm: **

**Mission 01: Case of the missing Coffee part 1.**

**Time: 0600 hours**

**Location: Level 31 Turk floor/Lounge**

"...ugh stupid train, made me run a marathon" Rod whined as he walked into the Turk lounge, he'd just come back from a mission that involved running after a train in Midgar. Some bright individual had come up with the brilliant idea of hijacking a train in Midgar only to discover it was full of shinra executives. Including an important business partner who happened to be in Midgar at the time, so naturally they sent someone to stop them at 4am in the morning, and he was the lucky person, so here he was early to work and in serious need of caffeine.

What he needed was coffee, the caffeine would do wonders but found none, he searched all the cupboards and shelf's, before slumping onto the couche annoyed and peeved at the lack of his caffeine dose. Of course when a certain dirty blond female with long hair tied back, and clad in a black suit a typical Turk trademark.

She yawned then looked at him "Morning Daisuke, how strange to see you here on time for once you didn't even need that special alarm Tseng set for you" she remarked sitting casually beside the spiky brown haired turk. He glared "shut up Samatha it's too early, and I don't need an alarm princess" he snapped grumbling.

"Yo newbie's where's the coffee the old man wants one" a lanky looking man with red hair which was held in a messy ponytail with goggles on his forehead greeted, a bald man shuffling in behind him glancing emotionlessly at them.

"There is none I looked already, I feel sorry for the one who has to face the old man" Rod remarked, Reno glared "hey rookie respect your elders, now go get some more you know what Velds like".

Rod shivered "yeah but it's not my job to get it and Veld asked you so it's your job" Rod retorted.

The bald senior turk nodded in agreement, Reno looked between them annoyance on his face "fine well then rookies we're going on a mission and I'm higher then you so don't complain yo" Reno spoke, Rude didn't show any emotion behind his sunglasses unlike the other two.

"What's going on I heard Reno and something about coffee" a very confused blond male with short curly hair murmured wiping the sleep out of eyes and glancing at the group of turks, another female entered after him but didn't say anything except went to the fridge, raising an eye at her colleagues

"Nunchaku what great timing, we're out of coffee and the old man wants some so you're going to join us on a little quest, Rosalind too".

"What!"came the startled response of Rosalind, Rod snickered a bit at this but was cut off by Rosalind's glare "what...hey I'm the one who woke at 4am".

"You wake up early that a laugh, so we gonna find this coffee or not" shotgun remarked bringing attention onto her, Reno grinned making the others even Rude groan.

"Some of us have work to do" Gun countered walking off with a cup of tea in her hand, they stared at her "its tea idiots now I'm going to do my paperwork unlike you lot" she said walking off.

Reno stuck his tongue at her as she left "well who cares let Gun go off she's too stuck up anyway, come on turkeys to find coffee we shall go!"

As they followed him Shotgun whispered in Nunchakus ear "has Reno gone crazy, I know he's usually relaxed but he's..."

"He's on a sugar high" Rude finished for her.

"Wow..."Nunchaku mumbled.

"So where to first?"Rod asked curious as to where Reno was heading so far they had gone up to the Soldier floor via the elevator.

"The first class soldiers lounge after all there's only 3 first class SOLDIERS I'm sure they won't miss a few coffee containers" Reno replied making the others sweat drop.

"Are you sure this is such a great idea I mean Septhoroth I wouldn't want to his enemy you know...and well" Nunchaku started but was stopped by Rude "if they ask Reno will take the blame "Rude finished.

Rod, Nunchaku and Shotgun stared at him "what wait you just want him to get into trouble don't you, what a great partner..."

Rude glanced at the three younger Turks stating simply "when Reno sets his mind to things he does them, no use stopping him now, beside I want a coffee as well".

"Wow Rude just like spoke more than a few words..."Shotgun murmured stunned.

"You asked" he murmured before walking off after Reno who was plotting just how they could get in and out without being caught by Angeal, Genesis or the great hero himself.

"we're doomed aren't we" Nunchaku whispered in Rods ear, Rod just nodded fearing what would happen if any of the said three SOLDIERS found out.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own final fantasy 7 and never will or any of the other FF games, the characters are all owned by Square Enix. **

**Ok I am so sorry for the lack of updates but I assure you I wasn't slacking off, I just had writers block and couldn't write this particular story. And I know this fic is actually looked at often I read the stats and found it quite shocking.**

**Chapter 2: Find the coffee!**

"Reno...can we just get out of here?"

"What'd you a coward Rod come on man we'll be gone before Sephiroth shows up besides they're sparring in the training room" Reno replied smirking.

Rod pouted "how'd you know that!"

Rude sighed "he snuck into the security room and checked"

Nunchaku looked at Rude shocked "all that trouble to just to find coffee couldn't we just go into Sector 8 and buy some" Nunchaku suggested glancing at the group in thought.

Reno stared at him with the same expression "nah Veld likes a certain kind, Shinra imports it, the stuff in Sector 8 is terrible, legend once gave him some of that instant stuff and well..."

Rod looked interested "what legend a coffee boy ha ha"

Rude coughed as if signalling something.

"What are turks doing in here?"Angeal asked calming glancing at the four male Turks.

"Uh oh...if Angeals here then that means..."Nunchaku said seeing Angeal standing there.

"Infinite is the gift of the goddess, for you are blessed by the goddess..."a voice quoted from behind Angeal ruining any hope of an easy escape.

"Oh great Genesis do you ever stop reading that stupid play" Rod mumbled.

Rude stood expressionless while Reno snickered "heh heh yeah only girls read loveless, its overrated besides it isn't even finished"

Nunchaku frowned and quietly spoke "I saw it last week it was actually quite good"

Reno and Rod stared at him in disgust "we don't know you"

Genesis actually smirked "wonderful a turk who has a taste I never thought it was possible"

Reno snickered while Rod stared dumbstruck, unnoticed to them another figure appeared "it seems I have come at an interesting time though I must insist the Turks must leave since it wouldn't do if Lazard or Tseng were to come by" the new figure of a certain silver haired general spoke.

Rod looked at Nunchaku who was now discussing loveless with Genesis then at Rude who nodded; Reno was too busy arguing with the general.

**Meanwhile at the Turk floor**

Tseng walked into the main office where the Turks did paperwork, he frowned as he looked for a certain redhead Turk and couldn't find him.

Rosalind was busy at her desk chatting to knife avidly about something, near them Samatha was complaining about something to Rafe who was slicking back his unruly hair and trying to drown out Samantha's complaints. In the back katana was working typing up a report with a blank uninterested look on his face, near him legend was reading over some documents his sunglasses discarded on the desk. Not far from him a long haired female Turk glared at a short brown haired male who looked to be in his mid thirties that was describing a play he saw the other night.

Tseng stood impassively at the room "where is Reno and why are four of you missing?"

Rosalind looked up "I saw him this morning he took Rod and nunchaku with him to find coffee I think, Rude followed him"

Tseng nodded "hmm...if he turns up tell him Veld wants him and..."He spoke looking at them.

Rafe looked curious "yes sir?"'

Tseng sighed "get back to work Velds in a bad mood" shortly after this was spoken he swiftly turned and left.

**Back to Reno and co.**

"Well that was hugely successful "Rod commented sarcastically as they got on the elevator.

"Well at least it killed two hours" Nunchaku commented hoping it'd brighten the mood.

Reno smirked "okay that was just a minor setback, next on our list Scarlet"

They stared at him "your kidding she hates us no way she's going to let us take her coffee stash"

"Fine...any suggestions then Rookie" Reno retorted amused.

Rude spoke up "Reeve"

Reno shook his head "he's not important enough besides he uses instant coffee"

Nunchaku looked at the elder Turk "how'd the heck you know that"

Reno smirked "I had to spy on him once he's creating some sort of doll/cat thing"

"Weird okay what about Palmer" Rod asked.

Reno nodded "after Scarlett now then rookies any more suggestions"

"Veld himself?"Nunchaku dared to ask.

"What you crazy or something, never ever steal the boss's coffee, borrow yes but steal!"Reno scolded Nunchaku for his suggestion.

"Why don't you just steal President Shinras coffee supply if you're crazy enough to torment Scarlett" a female voice remarked standing in the elevator, the ginger haired Turk looked at them in amusement.

"Why hello Cissnei would you like to join us?"Reno asked the 16 year old female Turk.

**Ha ha... will Cissnei help them find the coffee or will she leave, will they survive their quest to find the coffee, or will Scarlett send her dear army after them, will Veld ever get his coffee? **

**Find out next time on chapter three.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own ff7 or any of the BC characters.**

**Chapter 3: **

**Target: scarlet!**

Cissnei looked at them and sighed "what on gaias name are you lot up to Tsengs looking for you and Verdots angry enough due to his lack of coffee this morning?"

Rod shrugged "blame Reno I was just dragged along on this quest, nunchaku followed too I'm sure about Rude here"

Rude looked at Cissnei calm and composed "some one has to keep them inline"

Reno looked insulted for a moment but smirked "we're helping the bossman, we're gonna find coffee so he can quit being so grumpy you can help too if you want Nei'?"

Cissnei thought about it and sighed "fine someone has to keep you all from killing yourselves"

Reno scoffed "ha a 16 year old watching out for us adults"

Rod looked at Cissnei for a second; she was glaring at Reno for his comment, Reno smirked "don't show too much emotion rookie"

Her look hardened and she decided to ignore Reno entirely and talk to Nunchaku instead.

"So where to Reno?" Rod asked as they entered the elevator, Cissnei stood beside Reno who was a step away from her, Nunchaku just stared out at the city below.

"Level 51 weapons development" Rude stated getting everyone's attention.

"Why there?"Rod complained he hated those people, they were always trying to get volunteers to test out their _'machines' _he'd been unlucky to be picked out once.

Reno grinned "to find Scarlett of course rookie"

Nunchaku sighed "shouldn't we get back to our offices now, Tsengs going to think we skipped work today".

Cissnei nodded agreeing with him, she had better things to do then possibly piss off the last person any Turk wanted to cross in their life with the exception of Sephiroth which apparently they'd already done.

"Sure if your cowards, but real Turks stick to their missions" Reno pointed out.

"It's not a mission Reno" Rod pointed out.

"Cowards run out in battle..."Rude stated blankly.

Nunchaku sighed "fine but your taking the blame if Tseng finds out"

"Which he most likely will" Cissnei added.

"Sadists" Rod commented.

"Wow so this is weapons development?" Nunchaku said looking at the floor amazed.

"So...what's so great about it, you haven't been here before?"Reno asked.

"Uh no" Nunchaku said.

"Neither" Cissnei said

"Ok... but onto the objective turkies" Reno announced eagerly.

"Great another plan doomed to fail" Rod muttered ignoring the dark look sent his way from a soldier.

"Don't be so negative yo" Reno replied nudging Rod forward.

"I'm going to get a drink anyone want one?" Nunchaku asked wanting to get away for a bit.

"Sure" Cissnei said joining him happy to talk to someone sane.

"Ok now shuriken and nunchaku are gone here's the plan" Reno whispered.

"You're got to be kidding" Rod complained not liking the plan at all.

"What's wrong?" Cissnei asked

"Reno wants one of us to distract Scarlett" Rod said in answer to her question.

"That's suicide" she said in shock, shivering at the image of what could or would happen.

"Not me...no way I'm doing it" Rod said shaking his head.

"Don't even think it" Cissnei said hands on hips.

"Rude?"

"..."

"Fine then lets draw straws and whoever gets the short one distracts Scarlett" Reno announced holding out a set of straws, how he got them no one knew.

"...."

"Fine" Rod complied grudgingly

"Ok everyone pick one out" Reno said holding it out for everyone.

"Yes I'm safe" Cissnei said happily.

"Thank god" Rod remarked looking relieved.

"..."

"Oh man can we start again?" Nunchaku asked staring at the short straw.

"Nope now Nunchaku just go up to her and talk its easy" Reno said pushing him forwards towards Scarlet's office, Nunchaku trying to escape.

"She doesn't think you're an idiot" Rod said hoping it'd make him feel better.

"She thinks all Turks are idiots" Nunchaku retorted scared for his life.

"Just go" Cissnei muttered coldly while checking her cellphone.

"No you can't make me" Nunchaku protested.

"Oh but I can" Reno said shuffing him forward and making him lose his balance fortunely he crashed into someone so his landing wasn't so hard.

He got up shakily cleaning himself off, and then he saw who he had crashed into making him go pale. "You idiot when i find out what sector you're in your as good as fired!"

"Uh..."he let out speechless

"A turk...a turk dared to push me" Scarlet barked loudly her eyes narrowing when she saw a stain on her red dress, her eyes darkened on poor nunchaku.

"You moronic excuse for a Turk you spilt your soda all over my dress, do you have any idea how much it cost!"She ranted as he continued to back away.

"Uh....no I'm sorry" he stuttered trying to back away but was now stuck in a corner.

"You're sorry; you think that'll get you off the hook Turk!"

"No...But uh" he tryed to find a reason.

"What...what pitiful lie did you come up with turk" she ranted waiting for him to say something.

"Reno pushed me" he blurted fearful of his life.

"Really where's Reno now" scarlet said sceptically seeing no one but him.

"Over there...he was over there" he said seeing no sign of Reno or Rod for that matter.

She sighed then glared at him as he stumbled up "seriously why do we need you people, if i had my way your department would be destroyed!"

"...Can i go now..."he asked.

"No you'll listen you sorry excuse" Scarlet replied.

"I'm really sorry it was an accident" he blurted truly cursing Reno right now.

"Yeah like I'd believe that coming from a Turk, you're trained to lie what's your name Turk?"Scarlet asked, nunchaku managed to find his feet and ran knocking over an infantryman on his way.

**On another floor**

Tseng walked along the SOLDIER floor in search of Lazard in case he'd seen his wayward Turks when he found himself in front of Hojo who was ranting and raving at some poor scientists he was working with.

"Tseng what a surprise you haven't got my ancient yet have you?"Hojo asked.

"Her name professor is Aerith" Tseng said calmly.

"Names...all subjects are specimens to me names don't matter" Hojo said pushing the comment away like it was nothing.

"I see..."Tseng replied.

"So where is she?"Hojo inquired again.

"I'm afraid we haven't got her yet" Tseng answered bluntly.

"Incompetent!"Hojo yelled throwing his clipboard at a scientist.

"Please Professor we're working on it" Tseng reassured calmly.

"I'm sure you are" Hojo remarked sarcastically.

"Have you seen four turks come by" Tseng asked changing the subject.

"On this floor?" Hojo asked confused as to why Turks would come to the soldier floor.

"Yes..."Tseng said hiding the twitch forming.

"Well i saw that redheaded moron come by...name escapes me, and there was a spikey haired one who had an idiotic look on his face, and there was a bald man and a Blondie with them" Hojo said nonchantly.

"Did you see where they went professor" Tseng asked an eyebrow raised.

"Towards the 1st class quarters" Hojo muttered.

"I see thank you professor" Tseng faintly smiled.

"I would like some new specimens by the way my last one met an inconvenient end" Hojo said hoping he'd benefit from this intrusion.

"Not my department" Tseng replied while leaving

"Incompetent turk!"Hojo started to rant but Tseng was already gone.

"I feel bad for nunchaku" Rod stated as Reno picked the lock on the door to the break room, Cissnei stood a bit away so no one would associate her with them, Rude was silent.

"He'll be fine" Reno remarked grinning as he succeeded in opening the door "you know you could have just used your card key" a voice remarked.

Reno turned around looking like a deer in the headlights.

"Well what are we doing up here Mr I'm so much better than you" Reno remarked at the tall male turk in front of him, the turk in question shifted a hand though his orange slicked up hair, not even touching his sunglasses.

"I could ask you the same question?"

Reno was about to reply when he heard someone running and running fast...towards them, soon Nunchaku was in sight "damn it lets go!"Reno blurted as they could hear scarlet not far behind.

When they finally reached the elevator and safely made it level 40 they sighed in relief.

"Well that was a disaster" Cissnei remarked taking a seat on a chair in the lobby where executives sat during breaks.

Rod nodded "yeah what shuriken said, uh where's Legend?"

Nunchaku sighed "who cares we're away from scarlet, I will never venture there again"

Rude nodded "it's not wise to anger her"

"You're not kidding" Nunchaku replied.

Reno however had not given up "ok next up is..."

Rod interrupted him mid sentence "another person can't we just go to the Turk floor and do our work now, verdots going to be angry at us".

Reno frowned "no now let's go bother Reeve"

"Reeve? He's not that important" Cissnei pointed out instantly regretting that.

Reno stopped then spoke once more "Ok Neis got a point its Palmer then, he should be easier then Scarlett anyway".

Rod groaned "just kill me now..."

**Meanwhile with Legend**

"You were you with those turks!"Scarlet yelled but it didn't faze the stoic Turk.

"No...I'm here to train with that new weapon you wanted to test" Legend said making the atmosphere ease considerably.

Scarlett recovered "oh...in that case please come this way"

Legend nodded but in his mind swore Reno would pay _'you owe me now Reno'._

**On a side note however I'd like to thank those who added this to alert and their favs, and please do review...i do update faster if you do, even if it's just a short one.**

**Oh and I've decided as i go along others will join in so if you want to see a particular turk or maybe even soldier join in please say so, or even who the next target is.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own FF7 and never will...you get the idea**

**Chapter 4: Breaking and Entry**

**Special thanks to** Green-Etney** this chapter is dedicated to you, since you gave me the idea, and anyone who suggests an idea of what havoc they can get up to please review. If you do and I use it I'll make a mention of it.**

Tseng walked out of the elevator onto the 41st floor to see if he could find his wayward Turks, what he saw instead was Scarlett yelling at some poor infantryman who had been asked to clean up the floor after what appeared like a real ruckus had occurred.

Legend was limping out of the training room where to Tsengs knowledge Scarlett tested out any new weapons they designed, he was muttering and cursing Reno by the sounds of it and was bleeding. Legends eyes were in full sight fore once as his sunglasses were in pieces in his hand, he saw Tseng looking at him.

Legend frowned "If you're looking for Reno and his cohorts they left already, I had to calm Scarlett down, one of them can take my shift in guarding Rufus tommrow, they owe me big for this".

Tseng raised an eyebrow but nodded confirmation as he saw the extent of the legendry Turks injuries "yes...Reno can take your turn just...go see the medic when you're done find me I need your assistance"

Legend looked at his superior "with what?"

Tseng gazed at him "you're going to help me track Reno down"

Legend let a grin appear "of course sir I'll be as quick as I can" he said looking forward to getting back at them.

**Meanwhile**

"Reno where are we going?"Cissnei asked looking at the red headed Turk sceptically.

Rod leaned against the glass as the elevator kept moving up, he was fiddling with his EMR, Nunchaku frowned at the view of the city below them , the plate that covered the slums had its usual mako glow, he was grateful to have not grown up in such hard circumstances.

Rude listened as Reno plotted, the others had taken to ignoring the red head Turk as it would only get them in further trouble "What time is it?"Rod asked turning to ease the tension between the group.

Cissnei glanced at her cellphone, Veld wasn't aware of their slacking off yet or they would have got a call by now "11:30am"she replied just as the elevator signalled their arrival.

They walked out onto the 60th floor, immediately they shuddered "Reno is this what I think it is..."Nunchaku said paranoid at being on the dreaded 67th floor.

Reno smirked " next target Hojo, he's bound to have a stash somewhere"

Cissnei looked at him sceptically "right...and how did you come to that conclusion?"

Rod answered for him "well how else does he stay up all night doing those experiments of his"

"Well...he is Hojo, he may just weird that way I mean where would he store it?"Cissnei fought back desperately not wanting to go in there.

Reno looked at her "listen rookie, its Hojo he's just mad like that, anyways how do you suppose we get in?"

They all stared including Rude who shook his head in dismay "you mean you didn't think of a way to get in all this time Reno, that lab has guards and security systems not to mention who knows what's hiding in there" Cissnei remarked shuddering at the thought.

Reno smirked "Cissnei you doubt me?"

Cissnei stared "yes...yes I do"

Rod snickered and Nunchaku smirked as Reno pouted sat his female comrades lack of confidence in him, Reno recovered quickly "we'll just go up to them and say we have some important papers for Hojo to sign, and while they're distracted Cissnei can sneak into the security room and turn off the power to Hojos lab, Nunchaku and Rod can knock the guards out" Reno explained.

Cissnei frowned "wow you actually went through a lot of thought there, there may be hope left" she sarcastically remarked, Reno grinned cat like "thanks Nei".

Rod raised a hand "uh just one problem aren't two Turks sent to guard Hojos lab everyday, you're not suggesting knocking out our own comrades are you for coffee".

Reno looked shocked "Rod they'll recover Veld will think they were sleeping on the job and besides we're not just doing this for coffee"

Rod blinked unconvinced, Reno continued "We're doing this for awesome, great the liquor of awareness, the best dam coffee ever, it's worth the sacrifice...besides we'll blame Zack and say he's had too much sugar again" Reno finished.

Cissnei hit her head on the wall "I take back what I said and don't bring Zack into this, it's not fair on him!"

Reno looked at her "Oh you got a crush on Zackary Fair eh Cissnei, my my having a crush on a SOLDIER what bad thing for a Turk like you" Reno taunted until she slapped him "I do not have a crush on Zack you idiot!"

Rod coughed "yeah...of course Shuriken we'd never think such a thing would we..."

Cissnei had her shuriken at his throat mere seconds later "shut up Rod" she growled making him shut up very quickly, he gulped "of course yes mam..."

Rude looked at them all "we should get on with Reno's...plan"

**With Tseng**

Legend had arrived dressed in a clean suit, his glasses were missing due them having been shattered, Tseng looked at him as he sipped his coffee, Legend raised an eye "you know that's the whole reason they're on this wild goose chase... right".

Tseng looked up "this is from my apartment, it was brought back from Wutei, it's a special blend not sold in Midgar, would you like some?"

Legend nodded and sipped the coffee contently "must have been expensive?"

Tseng nodded "yes it was rather expensive, no word of this is to get out understand Legend" Tseng spoke threateningly.

Legend nodded "you have my word sir"

**With Reno**

Cissnei had succeeded in infiltrating the power source for the labs, she had used a tranquilizer on the guard and wiped his memory before pushing the switch that would disable the cameras and lighting in the lab and that floor.

"Reno the powers down you can infiltrate now" she said on the phone to him.

Reno grinned "good work Nei, leave the rest to us, you need not worry yo"

Cissnei frowned now they were truely doomed.

Rod and Nunchaku snuck up towards the lab, Shotgun was walking around with a flashlight to find the perpetrator who had turned off the power while two guns was inside the lab trying to calm down the angry professer.

Rod looked at her and dodged the light as she past them, Nunchaku snuck up behind her, and attempted to knock her out, but she swiftly turned the light on him blinding him for a moment. Rod winced as she looked stunned "Nunchaku what you doing up here, it's not your turn to guard the labs?"

He winced as he regained his sight "I know, I know no need to blind me" he muttered.

Shotgun looked concerned then glared "Wait...do you know something about this incident you better fess up or Veld and Tseng will be furious"

Rod used it as a distraction and sussesfully snuck into the lab undetected leaving Nunchaku to face Shotguns interrogation _'that guy has no tact with woman'_ he thought after he shot a tranquilizer dart at two guns and Hojo.

Soon they were both out cold and Reno reappeared "nice job rookie, you do us proud now let's find that stash!"Reno announced, Rude following, Rod apologised to his knocked out comrade and spat at Hojo.

Meanwhile Nunchaku still couldn't get a word in with Shotgun as she kept yelling at him, he denied being part of it, she looked him in the eye "oh okay you seem innocent enough but help me fix this up and I'll tell no one, oh and one more thing" she said as they walked towards Cissneis direction.

He signalled at Cissnei to run, she nodded and fled the scene before being found, Shotgun none the wiser as she was grinning at him "you owe me dinner at that nice restaurant in Sector 8"she stated making Nunchaku groan.

Reno walked though the labs storeroom his EMR out and hitting all the glass test tubes in his way, Rude had knocked over a table by _'accident'_ as well.

Rod wasn't much better and had managed to spill some liquid marked _'do not touch'_ on the ground, no one would miss it anyway.

After minutes of searching and letting a wild experiment run free Reno found a room "heh heh must be Hojos private room let's check it out" Reno remarked.

Rod raised an eye "uh isn't that breaking and entering?"

Reno stared "uh we already did that Rod, besides after this we're home free" Reno replied.

Rude sighed and Rod stared as Reno inspected the room then walked out empty handed "he had none geez he must run on some weird concoction or something...lets blow this joint yo"

Rod gaped "you mean after all that we're just leaving!"

Reno and Rude looked at him "yeah...no point sticking around is there?"

Rod slumped in defeat "yeah fine...do whatever..."

They met up with Cissnei in the Elevator, Nunchaku had Shotgun with him, Rod raised an eyebrow in question, Shot gun grinned "I called for backup and said an experiment got loose, Velds sending someone up so guess what guys?"She said.

Cissnei looked at her perplexed to say the least, Shotgun pouted "I'm going to join you, it sounds fun can I pick who we target next?"

Reno wimpered and looked at Nunchaku, Rod was backing away from Shotgun in the cramped elevator "You just had to get her involved didn't ya rookie?"

**And that ends chapter 4.**

**Will Rod escape Shotgun...Will Tseng and Legend ever find them...How will Hojo react when he finds his precious experiment and equipment wrecked!**

**Rod:...uh why do I have to worry about Shotgun**

**Nunchaku: because you still owe her money from last week**

**Rod: really when?**

**Shotgun: ...you forgot didn't you?**

**Rod: (moving away) no...Never help!**

**Cissnei: review please, the author likes ideas**

**Reno: suck up...**

**Cissnei: I have a sharp object Reno... **


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own ff7 and never will...enough said.**

**Mission's chapter 5**

"you fool look what you did to my lab, you turks are all the same, you ruin my genius experiments , none of you can keep out of my experiments and yet i still deal with you incompetent fools, you don't even make good specimens or experiments!"Hojo yelled jumping up and down as some poor infantry man cleaned up the mess Reno and co had caused.

Two guns was still out cold as Hojo threw his hissy fit but that didn't deter the Doctor any less, two guns finally woke up with a groan and rubbed his head "what happened..."he muttered groggily.

Hojo was now yelling at a blond infantry man who had dropped a glass beaker on the floor by accident "you're as incompetent as that turk get out get out" Hojo yelled sending the frightened infantry man running.

Two guns or Rafe as others knew him sighed "that's a little harsh ain't it professer" he commented.

Hojo looked at him glaring, Rafe stepped back "hey calm down its only some beakers did anything get stolen?"

Hojo looked at him "no my experiments are fine but look at my lab, if you weren't sleeping on the job this wouldn't of happened, and don't tell me how to treat them now start cleaning!"Hojo demanded handing Rafe a broom.

Rafe sighed "geez he needs to relax more, wheres Shotgun gone?"He asked.

"She's gone to get cleaned up, now what happened here professer Hojo?"A grumpy and very displeased Verdot stated, he looked well menacing, Rafe winced _'man I heard he was a crouch without coffee but this is...'_

Verdot stared at him "I've sent Cassandra and Mathew to cover for you, now get moving i want your paperwork in by 9am tomorrow morning!"Verdot yelled, Rafe didn't waste any time getting out of there.

Meanwhile Samatha munched on a sandwich while the others watched, Rod just mourned the loss of 100 Gil that Reno had borrowed from his wallet...then given to Samatha who now owed him, not that she'd pay him back anytime soon.

"That was the last of my pay check, I needed that money for tonight!"he moaned.

Cissnei sighed and reached into her wallet producing 100 Gil "here take it, unlike you i don't spend my pay check on alcohol at the bar in sector 8"she responded.

Reno looked at her "we were socializing, you know you'll never get a boyfriend by being a hermit all day yo'" he suggested.

Cissnei stared "And that Reno is why I don't go to bars, because then you turn up to work with a hangover, piss off Verdot and Tseng and lose at least 5 hours of your time because you got too drunk to remember anything."

Reno scoffed "yeah says you anyway Samatha it's your turn who do you want to steal coffee from?"

Cissnei and Nunchaku looked at her begging her to pick someone logical and not a higher up, unfortunely she was either blind or...well yes that she picked the worst name possible.

"What about Rufus?"

Everyone except Reno went pale at the thought of even thinking about raiding Rufus Shinra, the son of the president's quarters for coffee...Reno however thought it was a marvellous idea.

"We're truely doomed this time" Nunchaku wimpered sulking on Cissneis arm, she nodded "I know...uh Samatha why Rufus did he do something to you?"She asked her female comrade.

Samatha frowned "that fiendish creature of his..."

Rod interrupted then "oh his cat/demon pet what was it called?"

Cissnei answered for him "Dark nation I believe..."

Samatha glared "if you're finished interrupting me...his thing wrecked my pants see they're all disgusting, last night I had to escort him to a function as his bodyguard and he let his demon chew on my pants, they ruined!"She blurted out melodramatically.

Cissnei and Rod stared, they almost mimicked Rudes silence, Nunchaku however spoke "uh you could see Tseng and get them replaced...I mean it's only your pants and it's not that...bad" he said looking at a chuck missing from her trousers.

She glared "it is that bad, so are we going to steal Rufus's coffee or not, or should i report Rod to Verdot?"She demanded.

"Hey that's baist it's not my fault you just live to get me!"he yelled.

Reno went between them before it got too nasty "turkies turkies lets not fight amongst ourselves let's take this out on Rufus yo'"

Rude looked away ashamed of even being there, Cissnei stared at him "we're suffering too, let's hope his stupidity doesn't rub off on us..."

Samatha chuckled, Reno growled "hey you're supposed to be on my side yo' anyway lets go bother Ruffie..."

"Ruffie...wait i don't wanna know" Cissnei stated shaking her head.

**With Tseng**

Legend and Tseng were still sitting in the room discussing matters at hand, the political situation in other words _'grown up talk'_ something certain other Turks would never understand namely Rod and Reno in particular.

The special coffee blend had been finished long ago, Tseng stood up "so you got the idea...now onto the plan, you'll go in search of any disaster that has occurred in the building on floor 50-61, I'll check the other floors up to floor 70, if you hear of any...break in's or disasters its most likely a clue that'll lead to Reno" Tseng explained fixing the creases in his turk jacket.

Legend nodded "and I'll contact you once I've finished good luck Tseng..."

**Meanwhile **

Rufus Shinra the teenage son of the president stared at a computer screen, glaring at a pixelated character of a SOLDIER jumped as if controlling it by his stare alone, Darknation his loyal and _tame_...pet stood guard at the door, suddenly the computer stopped and he stared upset and angry.

The young soon to be Vice President was unaware that 6 Turks were outside coming up with a plan to raid his quarters for coffee, then again they weren't aware that Rufus hated coffee.

"Ok let's get this over with" Reno said motioning for them to play their parts, Samatha was to tell Rufus that there was an urgent request for his presence in his father's office, Reno as usual was going to wait for the others before invading. Rude stood by guarding the entrance so no one could interfere, Cissnei had already knocked out the power and cameras which was certain to annoy Rufus, Nunchaku had the task of sneaking in with Rod while Rufus was away.

"Uh question where would a teenager hide coffee?"Rod asked.

Reno thought for a moment but Rude answered first "under his bed..."

Rod nodded "ok lets uh...steal this coffee wait why would Rufus have coffee...he hates..."Rod blurted out suddenly dawning on the fact that not only was it suicidal but pointless but the plan was already in action, Samatha led a very angry Rufus towards the elevator, once they were out of sight they snuck in.

Rufus Shinras apartment was huge, the living room was large and filled with expensive toys, and a 70' inch television, a bed room was on the left and bathroom and kitchen separated in other rooms.

"Bedroom...bedroom now which one is the bedroom..."Nunchaku muttered analyzing the room and grinning when he found it, Rufus had even marked it.

Rod however was having a hard time with Darknation, the cat had stayed behind and glared at him, it looked like it ready to kill.

Nunchaku was too focused and had already made it to the bedroom, he checked the closet first _'nothing here'_ he thought before turning to the dresser _'nothing here either man he must have a cleaner or something' _nunchaku thought at the overly immaculate dresser.

He then proceeded to check the bed, lifting the mattress carefully he found no coffee but a book, it was black and the words _'my diary keep your grubby paws off it'_ were engraved on it. Thinking if he should keep it or dump it he heard a loud yelp in the other room, he sighed and hid it in his jacket before leaving to help the distressed Rod.

Rod was now wrestling off Darknation who had its grip set on Reno's ponytail, Reno was moaning in protest as Rude helped Rod wrestle the cat away.

Nunchaku stared unsure of whether to say anything, Cissnei however emerched in good timing with an expensive looking shoe, the cat turned its attention to it, Cissnei took this as an advantage to throw a chocobo printed blanket over it. Darknation hissed and growled as it fought to get the now torn blanket off it.

Reno didn't need any more motivation than that, they all dashed out just in time, leaving just as a very grumpy Rufus returned scowling, Samatha saw them and ducked behind them, Rufus didn't notice them but ran to his pets side.

Nunchaku meanwhile sighed a breathe of relief when they were well away and safely on the turk floor accidently losing the book at the same time , Reno snapped it up before he got a chance, he looked at it smirking.


End file.
